So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
