Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
