At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
