dude i'm inner monologue high
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
