Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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