It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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