to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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