FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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