Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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