When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
