My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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