she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
