where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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