Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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