Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
