The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
