Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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