This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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