she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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