going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
