If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
