i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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