I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Too much gin, very little bucket
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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