Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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