she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
