hotel room ftw
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
