And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
