Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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