I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
