Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
