I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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