I wish my penis had an off switch
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
