Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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