did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
