Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
