chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
