OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
