You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
