I haven't been this sober since birth.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
