she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
