He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I party with great urgency now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
