So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
