Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
