Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
what day is it and did you see me today?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
