He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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