$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
