you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
