wake up i wanna do it froggy style
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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