I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
