There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
