That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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