Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How does it feel to date your dad?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
